Walking into the conference room at precisely 12:04 pm, I was greeted with stares and ogling. The stares were those executives who were not happy that I was strolling in late. The ogling was from my co-workers who were surprised to see me in the room. I could imagine what was going on in their minds: Really? That moron is on the team? Did the janitor turn down the invitation, first?
"Nice of you to join us." One of the executives mockingly told me.
"It's nice to join you!" I responded back. I should probably avoid being a wise-ass.
Showing posts with label lazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lazy. Show all posts
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
The New Account: Part 1
The office was buzzing this morning because our company just got a brand new account. We get new accounts all the time, but this one is different. As my boss says, this is a "company-changer." What he means by that is our company is going to reap major benefits from this deal.
My one and only thought when I heard this news was: This better not affect me in any way. In no way, shape, or form did I want any involvement with this new account. I didn't even want to know the name of the company, that's how little involvement I wanted with this new account. I knew how important this was going to be for the company and I couldn't afford to fuck it up, which I know I would do if given the opportunity.
Supposedly, the higher-ups in the company, whose job it is to try and get new accounts, have been actively recruiting this company for a while. By the way it was told to me, it sounded as if an executive heard the name of this company, they would have dropped anything from them. I'd imagine that included dropping to their knees to provide a specific service.
My one and only thought when I heard this news was: This better not affect me in any way. In no way, shape, or form did I want any involvement with this new account. I didn't even want to know the name of the company, that's how little involvement I wanted with this new account. I knew how important this was going to be for the company and I couldn't afford to fuck it up, which I know I would do if given the opportunity.
Supposedly, the higher-ups in the company, whose job it is to try and get new accounts, have been actively recruiting this company for a while. By the way it was told to me, it sounded as if an executive heard the name of this company, they would have dropped anything from them. I'd imagine that included dropping to their knees to provide a specific service.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
"Out of Service" Part 1
"The toilets aren't working in the building, so you're only allowed to urinate in them today." You would have thought a ghost walked through the office. The shade of white that covered every one's face was like the street after a snow-storm.
The announcement was very telling. After my boss finished with his opening remarks, it was clear by my co-worker's individual reactions that you could tell who were the office-shitters. It wasn't audible, but a collective "FUCK!" filled the room amongst all the males in the office. Some of the ladies tried to play it off like it was no big deal, but their posture told otherwise. Some slouched, some pouted, and some had looks of horror on their faces.
"So what are we going to do?" One of the concerned female co-workers asked my boss. "We're going to have to go to the bathroom at some point. Where do we go to relieve ourselves?"
The announcement was very telling. After my boss finished with his opening remarks, it was clear by my co-worker's individual reactions that you could tell who were the office-shitters. It wasn't audible, but a collective "FUCK!" filled the room amongst all the males in the office. Some of the ladies tried to play it off like it was no big deal, but their posture told otherwise. Some slouched, some pouted, and some had looks of horror on their faces.
"So what are we going to do?" One of the concerned female co-workers asked my boss. "We're going to have to go to the bathroom at some point. Where do we go to relieve ourselves?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)