"Out of Service" Part 2

With rare exception, I don't think any of my co-workers left their cubicles for the first five hours of the day. It was like they were at a luncheon and they were waiting for someone to make the first move to get food. No one wanted to be the pooping-pioneer and venture over to the neighboring building. If I had to go, I would have had no problem being the Lewis or Clark for the office.

Instead, I got to watch my co-workers squirm for hours. I knew for a fact that several of my colleagues needed to clear their system, but they were too embarrassed to proceed. Some people even took the trip to the pharmacy to pick up anti-flatulent drugs to fight any impending doom. It's insane that these people went out of their way to pick up drugs, considering that they had to walk passed the very building they were avoiding.

"Out of Service" Part 1

"The toilets aren't working in the building, so you're only allowed to urinate in them today." You would have thought a ghost walked through the office. The shade of white that covered every one's face was like the street after a snow-storm.

The announcement was very telling. After my boss finished with his opening remarks, it was clear by my co-worker's individual reactions that you could tell who were the office-shitters. It wasn't audible, but a collective "FUCK!" filled the room amongst all the males in the office. Some of the ladies tried to play it off like it was no big deal, but their posture told otherwise. Some slouched, some pouted, and some had looks of horror on their faces.

"So what are we going to do?" One of the concerned female co-workers asked my boss. "We're going to have to go to the bathroom at some point. Where do we go to relieve ourselves?"