Thursday, January 2, 2014

The Test: Part 1

The weather here is horrid. The blizzard-like conditions have affected mass transit, highways, expressways, and all forms of travel - to the point that people are being forced to stay home. You'd think I'd know this information, but fortunately unfortunately, I was one of the lucky unlucky ones who were able to successfully make it into work today.

"I thought for sure I wouldn't have seen your face today!" One co-worker told me in passing.

"I would have bet the farm you would have called out today." Another co-worker said to me.

"I'm shocked to see you here!" A third co-worker told me. Do the people here think that little of me? Sadly they do. Those were the only three other co-workers in the office at that time and I'm sure I would have heard more of the same from the others if they were present.

Starting on my work right away, I kept plugging away until I looked up at the clock and saw 30 minutes had passed. The time caught me off guard because it was 9:30 and I hadn't yet heard from my boss. I usually see him or get a call from him, at least once before 9:30, so the lack of communication concerned me. Not for fear of his safety, health, or anything else of that matter. I wanted to make sure that the past 30 minutes of work - 30 minutes of actually working - could have been avoided. If my boss wasn't in the office I was going to be extremely pissed that I missed out on a golden opportunity to sit around and do nothing. That's when I left my cubicle to see if my boss was in the office.

I checked his office first - he was not there. There wasn't even a whiff of his female-repelling cologne lingering behind. I took a sweep of the entire office, including each cubicle, and could not find him. I even went into the bathroom, checking every stall and could still not locate him. Though I did manage to both see and smell one of my co-workers enjoying the benefits of fiber.

The search ended and left me with one thought: Freedom! Walking back to my cubicle I began to undo my tie, unbutton a few buttons, and unstrap my belt. If I had a pair of sweatpants in my cubicle I would have changed into those upon re-entrance. With my head down, focused on undressing myself, a voice stopped me as I re-entered my cubicle.

"What are you doing?" The voice said. Looking up, I had a immediate change of look on my face. My disappointed facial expressions were noted. "You don't seem too thrilled to see me." It was my boss.

"No..." I shot down that factual statement right away. "You just startled me." Oh boy, was I not thrilled to see him. I just went from being on cloud-nine to having my heart ripped out in a matter of seconds. The roller-coaster ride of emotions continued as my boss built me back up again just as quickly. He presented me with a deal.

"You can go home early and take a half-a-day." My boss said. Oh hell yes!...Wait a second..I'm not falling for this trick!

"I think I'll stick around." I replied with an I'm-on-to-you smile.

"Suit yourself." He told me, as he exited my cubicle.

Why would I pass up this chance to leave work early? Because he was testing me! If I took him up on his offer, it would have looked really bad on my part. I'm not exactly the most valued employee at this place, so anything that makes me look bad will only diminish my beyond-repairable reputation. Plus I don't want to go home and shovel snow. I really don't want to shovel.

Getting back to work, I took a peek at the clock: 9:54. No big deal! Starting back up on the document I was working on, I attacked my work like I've never attacked any company documents in the past. I'm pretty sure no one in the history of the working world had worked as hard as I was working. If my boss saw me in action, he would have given me a promotion and a raise on the spot.

Tiring myself out, I forced myself to take a break. Looking at the clock, I read out-loud what was staring back at me: 9:54. FUCK! I should have taken that deal!

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